I received bitter-sweet news on Saturday and I should have seen it coming. I know in hind-sight it will be for the best though. Late Friday night I put an ad on KSL.com, it was for one of my best friends. Who can sell their best friend and traveling companion? I can, I guess. In the beginning of 2007 I found my dream truck. I drove it a 100,000 miles over the last four years.
This truck has been a therapists office to me over the years. I have laughed, cried, fell in and out of love, learned about God, and most importantly myself. All in this huge truck! I used to say, with some exaggeration that, it was the only truck that fit me.
It did fit me. Haus, as I lovingly refer to him, has been by my side through it all. High on the tops of mountains and down to the sand beaches. But I realize that Haus was one thing that has been holding me to a past life and it is time to let him go.
Haus reminds me of C.S Lewis', The Great Divorce. The main character in the book has an addiction or sin, personified as a disgusting black lizard, that he can't let go of. The Angel tells him that he must kill it and let it go or it will destroy him. This main character is deceived and thinks that if he try's to kill it, the opposite will happen and he will die.
I hope this doesn't seem dramatic to compare a truck to a deep addiction or sin. I think this truck has been one of my only worldly possessions that I feared giving up because not having it would somehow make me different or less me. I have been letting my possessions define me.
He sold within 12 hours of the ad going up. And there is dry patch in front of the house and in my heart where the memories we carried will always be. I guess this is the part of life when moving on is good. I won't miss paying for diesel though!
3 comments:
Two quotes to offer as you move to acceptance of this change:
"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another". ~Anatole France
"Without accepting the fact that everything changes, we cannot find perfect composure. But unfortunately, although it is true, it is difficult for us to accept it. Because we cannot accept the truth of transience, we suffer". ~Shunryu Suzuki
Mom
No vehicle can define YOU, Ed! There is not one good enough! Love you!!
Thanks for the great quotes! And Thanks for the kindness Palmers.
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